There are many things you shouldn’t say to a mother, for instance things that are rude, insensitive, or just plain ANNOYING!
I’ve been a mother for almost a decade now, so of course, it was easy for me to write a list of things that make my eyes roll…read them below and let me know if any of these things annoy you just as much as they annoy me:
1. Do not ask a pregnant woman if she’s sure there’s “just one baby in there” while looking at her pregnant belly. Here’s the thing, during pregnancy, women know they will gain weight, after all, they are growing a life! There’s no need for anyone to indirectly tell them that they are huge!
2. Do not point out a mother’s mommy tummy. We did not notice the extra skin and flab in our belly area after having children…but thank you for pointing that out to us!
3. Do not ask a mother if she’s sick when she’s not wearing makeup. Nope, chances are that we are not sick, this is just how we may look without makeup and with only three hours of sleep.
4. Do not tell a mother that she is fortunate to have her husband babysit her children for her. First of all, a husband does not babysit his own children, he takes care of them like his wife does because he’s a PARENT. Second, a husband is not doing his wife a favour by taking care of his children, it’s his duty to do so too!
5. Do not tell a mother that she is spoiling her baby by carrying him or her. A baby needs care, love, and attention, therefore, you cannot spoil babies by giving them what they need. Mothers know what is best for their babies!
6. Do not tell a mother that her kids are too much or too little of anything. I repeat, do NOT do this! For instance, do not tell a mother her children are overweight or underweight, too dark or too light, too short or too tall, and so on. To us, all of our children are beautiful and perfect just the way they are!
7. Do not call a woman’s children by a nickname she did not approve of. Please just don’t. Also, please do not shorten our children’s names if we haven’t done so ourselves!
8. Do not criticize a mother’s choice of lifestyle for her family. If the lifestyle we chose for our children is not hurting them in any way, then please refrain from telling us that we are doing it “wrong.”
9. Do not tell a mother she needs a child of a certain gender to “complete” her family. Why do certain people not realize that we are not in control of choosing the gender of our children…also a mother knows when her family is complete, she doesn’t need someone telling her otherwise.
10. Do not tell a mother she shouldn’t be feeling a certain way. I saved the most annoying for last! Sigh! Nothing angers us mothers more than someone telling us we shouldn’t be feeling a certain way because we are too “blessed.” For instance, after a woman has had a miscarriage, please do not tell her that she has other children and she shouldn’t feel sad. We are the only ones that know what we are going through, and we will allow ourselves to express our feelings. The last thing we need is society telling us that we should be “strong” or that we should “move on.”
That is all for now…who knows, maybe after another decade, I’ll have a longer list..I hope not though!
Much love to all the mamas that are working hard to take care of their families- you all are amazing!