A little while back, I felt lost and suffocated, but now I feel like I’m free and on the right path again and I’m feeling quite emotional about this…or maybe it’s my pregnancy hormones making me feel emotional! Either way, I’m a ball of emotions right now and have been in these last few weeks…
Just the other day, I was sitting on the sofa in my living room with the window blinds rolled up half way; I was observing my children play with each other in the snowy backyard. There they were- all bundled up, unaware of the cold, laughing, and helping each other build a snowman. THIS. THIS, I thought, is what THOSE whispers were telling me about.
You see, I didn’t have the best of childhood, in fact, there were days where I thought this world was too much for me to handle and I was starting to give up. But, I never did give up because something was whispering to me, “Keep going, don’t give up yet, there’s something very special waiting for you, I PROMISE. And you my dear, NEED to be there to see it.” THOSE whispers were telling me- a broken child ready to go, that I needed to stay.
Well, what those whispers were telling me about was this very moment: I needed to stay in this world to have my children, to see these children, to FEEL these children. I need my children just as much they need me. This, this is THE moment I needed to live for. This is why I’am alive today.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t live for my children, for I only live for HIM, but living became much easier through the vision that my children provide for me- the vision of divine innocence, the purest form of happiness that illuminates through their smiles, their words that always seem to sting me with amazement- through them, my vision of this world has changed drastically. Through them, I have come to realize that this world is not so bad after all.
I’m thankful that I listened to those whispers and stayed, for had I not, I would have left this world broken- but now I’am certain I will leave this world whole.