We are a few days into Ramadan now, and I have to tell you that my baby has been waking up almost every morning during suhoor time.
Sometimes, he will wake up just as I’m about to get out of bed to prepare suhoor, and as soon as I hear him crying, I’ll put him back to sleep. This usually leaves me with less time to eat suhoor….
Other times, he’ll wake up in the middle of me eating suhoor and I’ll rush to finish my meal, so I can put him back to sleep before he wakes up his brother and sisters; or I will bring him downstairs to the kitchen and the entire time he will cry while I’m eating.
Of course, none of these situations are ideal, but it’s my reality.
Not only is my baby awake during suhoor, but he’s usually awake during iftar time too! Despite being fed before iftar, he still wants to put his hand in our plates, knock over our drinks, and cry until we give him food. It’s just chaos…
And guess what? My baby is awake during the daily prayers, and will often attempt to pull off my hijab when I go into sujood, or throw a tantrum because he wants to be held. Sure, it’s not the best way to pray, but it’s become the norm around here.
Reading the Quran is more like attempting to read the Quran these days. I can get through a page or two of reading at a time before my munchkin wants to “read” as well, and by read I mean tear the pages. I have attempted to read the Quran on my iPad, but even then he wants the iPad and starts tapping away at the screen…
Throughout all of this, I have come to realize that I’am trying, I’am putting effort into everything. Allah knows my new (and temporary) reality. He knows my intentions. Even though I know how difficult certain things will be, like prayer, I still attempt it.
The fact that we, as mothers, get up for suhoor despite being exhausted from a tough day of parenting the day before is HUGE. The fact that we prepare iftar with crying children around us is INCREDIBLE. The fact that we still pray with our children throwing tantrums on our prayer mats next to us is AMAZING. The fact that we even try to read a page of the Quran is REMARKABLE!
Moreover, the fact that we even feel like we are not doing enough, even though we are trying our best, says a lot about our iman- if we didn’t care about our iman, then we wouldn’t notice how little we are able to do. But the thing is, that what we are doing is not so little, it’s HUGE. We must remember that there’s a reason why it’s your mother, your mother, and your mother before it’s your father- we are fulfilling the most important role and that in itself is amazing!
Allah knows our circumstances and He understands. We don’t give ourselves enough credit for all that we do. I used to fast while studying for university exams, and while working full time, but nothing is more challenging than fasting as a mother as you really don’t get a break. We have little bodies to take care of and nurture, to raise to become something extraordinary- indeed, this too will be greatly rewarded!